How to Manage an Office
Romance
May be reproduced
with copyright and attribution to
www.yourofficecoach.com.
Some
long-ago sage wisely coined the phrase “don’t get your honey where you
get your money”. The best approach to office romance is probably to
avoid it altogether. Most workplace love affairs leave a trail of
resentments, hurt feelings, and shattered working relationships in their
wake. But if you believe that you have found the one true love of your
life in the neighboring cubicle, that advice isn’t likely to keep you
apart. So here are some suggestions for managing the situation and
minimizing potential damage to your career.
1.
Don’t assume that you have a cloak of
invisibility.
For some weird reason,
people in love or in lust believe that no one will notice their intense
attraction to each other. This is never true.
2.
Resist the urge to talk.
You may have an
uncontrollable desire to announce that you have found your perfect soul
mate or that you’re dating the office hottie. But control the urge to
babble on about your love life. This will just fuel the office
grapevine and bore your coworkers.
3.
Know that everyone probably knows anyway.
Even if you manage to
keep your mouth shut, people will find out somehow. Coworkers seem to
be telepathic about these things. So assume that your romance is public
knowledge.
4.
Don't let your boss hear it through the
grapevine.
While you don’t want to
advertise your new love interest, neither do you want your boss to be
surprised by the news. If your significant other is also a close
coworker, your manager needs to know. Give a brief heads-up and explain
how you will keep the relationship from interfering with work.
5.
But if you are the boss . . .
In the world of office
relationships, dating an employee is the Big Blunder. It’s impossible
to objectively supervise the person with whom you’re sleeping. Coworker
romances often create discomfort in an office, but manager-employee
hook-ups can wreck the place. And if you think it’s a secret, see
points 1 & 3 above.
6.
Check the policy.
If your organization has
an official policy on office relationships, you’d better find out what
it is. Otherwise, you may find yourself with a lover, but without a
job. Most employers don’t officially prohibit coworker dating. But
most do prohibit supervisor-employee liaisons. With good reason.
7.
Keep it professional at work.
At the office, your goal
is to conduct yourself so that no outside observer would have any clue
that you and you honey are anything but polite, friendly colleagues.
Think of it as a test of your acting abilities.
8.
And keep your hands to yourself.
No kissing, snuggling,
handholding, shoulder massages, or back rubs while at work. In fact, no
touching whatsoever.
9.
Don’t seek out joint projects or travel
opportunities.
If you normally share
work assignments, that’s fine, as long as you behave like “regular”
coworkers. But you must never manipulate projects or tasks in order to
maximize your time together. And you should absolutely never
manufacture travel opportunities. That could constitute misuse of
company funds.
Copyright Marie G.
McIntyre. All rights reserved. May be reproduced with copyright and
attribution to
www.yourofficecoach.com .
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