Some groups are just tough to manage. When members have
conflicting interests, personal agendas, or aggressive personalities,
meetings often deteriorate into pointless debates or angry conflicts,
thereby wasting time and harming relationships. But unless your group
is truly toxic, members will usually agree to a reasonable set of
guidelines.
So if your team is headed down a destructive path, set
some ground rules before blindly leaping into a discussion of issues.
Then, when things start to get out of hand, remind the wayward members
of these agreements.
Ground rules
should be posted in the meeting room, with copies given to all members.
Although every group has specific needs, the guidelines below are
generally useful. (They can also apply to personal conversations.)
1.Stay focused on the purpose and goals.
If you don’t know where
you’re going, you’re not likely to get there. At the beginning of a
discussion, clearly define what is to be accomplished. This makes it
easier to get wandering conversations back on track.
2.Listen when others are speaking.
Instead of listening,
people often mentally rehearse their next comment while someone else is
talking. When this happens, the discussion can deteriorate into a
pointless debate. Ask members to focus on the person speaking.
3. Be sure that all viewpoints are heard.
Most groups have both
talkative and quiet members. Try to keep the talkers from dominating
the discussion and invite the quiet folks to share their thoughts.
4.Consider different points of view.
People easily get
“locked in” to their own opinions and don’t even think about the
possible merits of other ideas. Encourage members to think beyond their
own point of view.
5.Look for areas of agreement.
Argumentative people
often agree on more things than they realize. Before discussing
disagreements, help members identify the things they do agree on.
6.Discuss differences respectfully.
Hostile, insulting
remarks add nothing to a group discussion and can permanently damage
relationships. Remind members about basic “good manners” for meetings.
7.Remember that facts can be wrong, but
opinions are just different.
Most of the time, people
are expressing different views, not arguing about facts. Yet they often
act as though they are “right” and others are “wrong”. Help people
separate facts from opinions.
8.Look for the good points in new ideas.
Useful ideas may die if
people are too quick to find flaws. Help members explore the benefits
of an idea before they become overly critical.
9.Focus on the future, not the past.
Disagreements often
deteriorate into finger-pointing about past problems, which accomplishes
absolutely nothing. Use past experience to inform decisions, but focus
the discussion on future goals.
10.Look for solutions, not someone to blame.
The worst debates about
the past are those which involve placing blame. If the conversation
turns to blaming, shift the group focus to a search for solutions.
11.Don’t use group time for individual issues.
When a few members start
discussing their own issues in a group meeting, it just wastes everyone
else’s time. Ask the people involved to continue their “sidebar”
discussion after the meeting.
12.“Park” any issues that are important but
off-topic.
Occasionally, important
matters are raised that have nothing to do with the goals of the
meeting. To stay on task, but avoid losing the issue, create a “parking
lot list” where these topics can be captured and dealt with later.
13.Agree upon specific action steps.
Most discussions need to
end with specific “next steps” to be taken after the meeting.
Otherwise, the time spent may be wasted So end your meeting with a list
of action items and assign each one to a specific person.
Copyright Marie G.
McIntyre. All rights reserved. May be reproduced with copyright and
attribution to
www.yourofficecoach.com .
More Advice on Group Decision-Making from Your Office Coach
