Is your boss driving you crazy? Do your
coworkers frustrate you? Are you worried about your career? Send
your concerns to Dr. Marie McIntyre. Due to high volume, not all questions
can be answered, but Marie will respond to as many as possible.
Marie has more than 20 years experience in coaching, human resources, and
management. She writes the syndicated column
"Your Office Coach", which appears in more than 70 newspapers nationwide.
Marie has authored two books and serves as a workplace expert for the Lifetime TV website and the
National Institute of Business Management.
Particularly interesting topics may be reprinted online or in the newspaper
unless you request otherwise.
Q:I’m not sure how to
handle my new supervisory position.Before being promoted, I was
friends with my former coworkers, so I’m finding it
difficult to tell them what to do.I love being a supervisor, but
it’s hard to be as tough as my superiors want me to be.
In a perfect world, I would like to be both a
boss and a friend.However, I’m beginning to
realize that to get things done, I need to be less of a
friend and more of a boss.I know I have to demonstrate
leadership, but I’m afraid this will turn me into an
unlikeable person.After all, does anyone really
like their boss?Nice Guy
A:
To you, “boss” apparently means someone who is autocratic
and unpleasant.
Perhaps that has been your unfortunate experience.However, many people actually admire their managers
and enjoy working with them.
Nevertheless, you are correct in thinking that you and your
former peers can no longer be friends in the same way.The fact that you will now be doing their performance
reviews has completely redefined that relationship.
Like every new
supervisor, you must learn how to comfortably relate to
people from a position of power.
For help in navigating this transition, look for books,
workshops, or online resources that provide lessons in
leadership.Seek
out effective managers and use them as role models.You will soon come to realize that your goal is not
to be liked, but to be respected.
(All material on Your Office
Coach is copyrighted to
Marie G. McIntyre. All rights reserved.)
Marie G.
McIntyre, Ph.D. specializes in helping people work together more effectively. She
does individual career coaching, helps organizations develop leadership and teamwork, and has worked with such clients as Home Depot,
Cisco, Prudential, AT&T, and
Panasonic. Marie has held several management positions in business and
government, including director of human resources at a Fortune 500 company. She is the author of
Secrets to Winning at Office
Politics and The Management Team Handbook. Marie lives
in Atlanta, Georgia.
The advice
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situations presented. Because we do not have a detailed understanding of any
individual situation, each person must assess the suggestions offered in light
of their specific circumstances. In no event shall the experts or other
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